sailor

Drowning in the sea

As I see how far you have gotten

I watch you sail into the sunset

You may come across another storm

But for now you are safe and warm

You may have a few scratches and leaks

But my god do you look beautiful

As you rock side to side

Stably over the waves

Stably

Taylor

Drowning in the sea is a metaphor for crying so much as I see a dear friend be in a better condition and place in their life. The strength they must have had amazes me, and moves me. Heres to you, and everyone else that overcomes their life difficulties. There will always be another storm, but you did well sailing through this one 🙂 xx

Eating

Why have I still not eaten breakfast at a time where some people would be having lunch?

Why do I eat all day when Im stressed or away?

Why do I love eating but also love hunger?

Taylor

my purpose

And I will drown myself in water

Because they have taken away the pills

And the alcohol

I will pour everything I can down the sink

Because my blood no longer flows from my skin

They took away the blades

But they didn’t take away the pain within

I will deafen myself with music because I no longer want to scream

Because screaming is a cry for help and I don’t want it

I don’t want to get better because this is what I know

I don’t want to change because I’ve never been a better writer than right now

But even now I’m still shit

And I don’t know how else to deal with pain

Of the lack of it

I know I should feel upset but all I feel is inspiration

I know I should be angry, but all I see is words

And all I hear is words

That might not rhyme

But my god do they sound good to me

So I’m sorry for what I’ve caused or what feelings this ignites within you

But maybe that’s my purpose

And I’m really looking for things to keep me alive

So if that’s the one

Then I’ll take what I can get

Taylor

I wrote this mid break-down (if you couldn’t tell) and its although quite sad, its powerful, its me saying that I have this reason to live, however silly it may be, and times might be rough but I will hold on to it.

Bloom

Roses aren’t always red

But they are always beautiful

They always bloom

Times might be rough

But you will always get through

Keep yourself watered

In sunlight, a warm room

And I can promise you

You will bloom too

Taylor

Don’t forget to admire the beauty in life and also the beauty in yourself. No matter how much you are tired, and feel like giving up, its never enough to just hope. Put yourself out there, look after yourself, and you will be the best version of yourself, the happiest and the strongest.

Pain

The scars on my wrists

remind me of this

intense feeling of pain.

Not the blood rushing out

nor the blade of my skin.

But the darkness,

the pain,

the pain within.

Taylor

As someone who still carries scars from their past, they are a reminder of where I was, compared to where I am now. They show me the darkness and pain that I felt, and although sad to have to carry it with me, its a positive reminder of where I came from, and where I don’t want to go again.