You love to hard
Not hard enough
No one will like you
You act too tough
Open your doors
But only a crack
If not they will swing
All the way back
And no ones ready for your demons
No ones ready for the truth
So just smile and tell a lie
There’s too many people to lose
Not ready to say goodbye
Taylor
Tag: blog
You can’t ask a broken person
To believe your words with no actions
With contrary reactions
With promises unkept
You can’t ask me to believe that you love me
When what I want is just hug me
All I need is a friend
I can’t feel loved if you leave me
I can’t feel loved if you don’t care
I want to feel like you need me
But you only try to get me out your hair
Taylor Hopewell
Fall
I thought my feet were placed firmly
Never again would I fall
Would I trip over a smile
Or tumble over your eyes
But I do, every day now
And I can’t tell what’s more stupid
The fact that I fell, or that I’m still falling
machine me
My scars don’t define me
They are merely scratches on the surface of this body
This body that I hold
I am my body and my past, but it is not me
That’s how I gain my confidence
By knowing I am so much more than my physical
I’m actually not what’s visible at all
I am a mind, and a soul, that can’t be seen only felt
Can not be explained only experienced
I love the body that contains me
Even tho it has been harmed
I love the bones that keep me upright
Structures and alarmed,
with triggers and buttons that only I know best
But I am missing one button that allows me to rest
I know the procedure, but don’t have the code
My body is a machine, that I must decipher
If I want to be released from this world
I must try to figure out combinations and patterns and passwords
To fully experience myself, I must understand the key
To unlocking to door, to set me free
My body is mine, but it is not me
The world is a place that I can’t quite see
Can’t see past the glass windows mistaken for eyes
or feel past the sensors thought to be skin
or the control centre…my mind
Taylor
insomnia
I made myself believe in monsters
And demons and ghosts
Because they were the explanations
That I could get away with the most
Instead of explaining my mental health
I could blame it on my imagination
On my lack of education
But no
Its insomnia
Its stress
Its anxiety and depression
That wrap me up in bed
And they keep my eyes wide open and red
They keep the pressure in my head
The pain in my body
They keep me from getting help
I called them monsters
and monsters they are
Taylot
Evolve
Evolution kicks in when everything is nearly extinct
and dies
I’ve died so many times
Too many failed tries
Was I dying, or just trying
to change my life
Because it did, and I grew stronger and kinder and weaker where I need
And I learnt so many lessons I am now able to teach
I came so far, places I never thought I’d reach
I don’t think I really wanted it to end
I just wanted it to all be different
and different… it is
Taylor
With many failed attempts behind me, I still struggle everyday and night, but I know how much I have not only helped myself but others. I am proud of having the courage to share my past, because I’m making a change in the future. Who knows if I can save myself, or someone else, but I will live everyday as a support for people who need it, giving out the advice I cant always give to myself. I hope my story doesn’t end soon, because darkness is beautiful and strong.
My purpose
And I will drown myself in water
Because they have taken away the pills
And the alcohol
I will pour everything I can down the sink
Because my blood no longer flows from my skin
They took away the blades
But they didn’t take away the pain within
I will deafen myself with music because they no longer let me scream
Because screaming is a cry for help and I don’t want it
I don’t want to get better because this is what I know
I don’t want to change because I’ve never been a better writer than right now
But even now im still shit
And I don’t know how else to deal with pain
Of the lack of it
I know I should feel upset but all I feel is inspiration
I know I should be angry, but all I see is words
And all I hear is words
That might not rhyme
But my god do they sound good to me
So I’m sorry for what I’ve caused or what feelings this ignites within you
But maybe that’s my purpose
And I’m really looking for things to keep me alive
So if that’s the one
Then I’ll take what I can get
Burnt and drowning
Sunkisses can turn to burns
Water glissens can cause concerns
because too much and your drowning
wet and hot and burnt
But isnt pain and pleasure to die for
so many lessons to learn
Taylor
Unseen
Tripping over reality
Or under it
And seeing the unseen
What we cannot observe through the naked eye
Not even with enhanced vision
Unlocking corners of our mind
Observing a collision
Between reality and something else
But what is the something else that remains unseen
And will there come a day where it can be
Taylor
Fingertips
Fingertips on skin
Like faulty wires
Electric sparks
But beware for flammable items
For they can clearly catch alight
But sometimes they dont look flammable
And we mistake objectifying for dirty talk
Mistaking possessiveness for lust
And controlling for in love
Like a pool of gasoline
The wire is engulfed in flames
Not possible to escape with out burns
Burns on your heart
So the next connection you make
You may be the one to break
But I hope you atleast learnt to keep yourself safe
And keep the flammables away
Taylor
A poem about toxic relationships, how the magic that love, caring, and sex has is wonderful but with bad people (flammable people) it becomes overwhelming and toxic.