As a woman
Ive started to notice sexism in my social life. If I’m seen giving orders it’s “micromanaging” “okay mum” “controlling” where as if a man does these things he is listened to, its “teaching” or “helping”.
I allowed myself to be held by men in a way that made me feel uncomfortable but “was just friendly”, talked to and about hyper sexually as an object to be seen and touched.
As a woman I am starting to be scared at how much I can see is based on nothing but my gender, no matter how much I know about an area, there will always be a dumber, more stupid man being listened to by many more.
When I use my sexuality to my advantage, as a way to make money, and to gain confidence. It’s seen as easy, a waste.
Evolution kicks in when everything is nearly extinct
I’ve died so many times
Too many failed tries
Was I dying, or just trying
to change my life
Because it did, and I grew stronger and kinder and weaker where I need
And I learnt so many lessons I am now able to teach
I came so far, places I never thought I’d reach
I don’t think I really wanted it to end
I just wanted it to all be different
and different… it isTaylor
With many failed attempts behind me, I still struggle everyday and night, but I know how much I have not only helped myself but others. I am proud of having the courage to share my past, because I’m making a change in the future. Who knows if I can save myself, or someone else, but I will live everyday as a support for people who need it, giving out the advice I cant always give to myself. I hope my story doesn’t end soon, because darkness is beautiful and strong.
And I will drown myself in water
Because they have taken away the pills
And the alcohol
I will pour everything I can down the sink
Because my blood no longer flows from my skin
They took away the blades
But they didn’t take away the pain within
I will deafen myself with music because they no longer let me scream
Because screaming is a cry for help and I don’t want it
I don’t want to get better because this is what I know
I don’t want to change because I’ve never been a better writer than right now
But even now im still shit
And I don’t know how else to deal with pain
Of the lack of it
I know I should feel upset but all I feel is inspiration
I know I should be angry, but all I see is words
And all I hear is words
That might not rhyme
But my god do they sound good to me
So I’m sorry for what I’ve caused or what feelings this ignites within you
But maybe that’s my purpose
And I’m really looking for things to keep me alive
So if that’s the one
Then I’ll take what I can get