sailor

Drowning in the sea

As I see how far you have gotten

I watch you sail into the sunset

You may come across another storm

But for now you are safe and warm

You may have a few scratches and leaks

But my god do you look beautiful

As you rock side to side

Stably over the waves

Stably

Taylor

Drowning in the sea is a metaphor for crying so much as I see a dear friend be in a better condition and place in their life. The strength they must have had amazes me, and moves me. Heres to you, and everyone else that overcomes their life difficulties. There will always be another storm, but you did well sailing through this one 🙂 xx

Naked

If you saw my body

You would want to close your eyes

Or at least have myself cover

The scarred wrists and thighs

You would try to ignore it

But you wont be able to

Because who wants to look at this

Cut up flesh

Sliced skin

Some still healing

But some fresh

Some are scarred

But still deep

But those ones will always be there

The others wont, hopefully

Taylor

Opening up : as someone with self-harm scars I cant even look at my body at times, so the thought of someone seeing them again, scares me. But whoops i guess, im using it as a reason to try to stop, which has kinda worked but not completely…. but yeah slowly but surely

Glamourise

Sorry for making it sound beautiful

I know its not something to be proud of

But its part of me

So I will write it in imagery

Like the roses pouring out of my skin

Or the thought of me drifting into the starless night

The endless sky

I’m not trying to glamourise it

But I have to

Because if not

How do I live with myself

With what I do

Except for make it something beautiful

But for me, not you.

Taylor

People can find it upsetting when reading things that glamourise sensitive subjects like self harm, or depression. And I understand their worry of making it something beautiful and making it something to look up to or try. But I have to write it as though its beautiful, because its part of me, part of my scars, and the missing serotonin. And I know it isn’t beautiful, but I need to see the beauty.

are you okay?

I’m sick of being asked how I am in social situations

or casual conversations.

I’m not going to lightly tell you how I was awake until dawn,

in fact I actually haven’t slept,

or how many pills I stole and have kept.

I’m not going to ‘chat’ about the new cuts that you can’t see,

or how I downed the vodka just so I can breathe.

I’m sick of smiling all day

and also of always saying that I’m okay.

I’m sick of life and I’m sick of crying

and trying.

Taylor

Trigger warning

Trigger warning,

it wont be nice

You wont be able to look people in the eyes.

Trigger warning,

those who don’t know will make jokes

unaware of the emotions it evokes.

Trigger warning,

someone will find out

and they will ask what its all about

Trigger warning,

when they know it will hurt them more

than its ever hurt you before

The road is tough

Rough and grim

I‘ve been through it a lot

Glad that I did

Glamorized by society

Everyone knows but nobody hears

Reading stories about my biggest fears

Taylor

Self-harm is a big issue, because although there is more awareness its being glamorized in society. This poem also I wrote because people don’t understand that somethings they post can trigger someone who has gone through it, or when someone says it as a joke, it can deeply bring back feeling for those who have dealt or are dealing with this problem.

Pain

The scars on my wrists

remind me of this

intense feeling of pain.

Not the blood rushing out

nor the blade of my skin.

But the darkness,

the pain,

the pain within.

Taylor

As someone who still carries scars from their past, they are a reminder of where I was, compared to where I am now. They show me the darkness and pain that I felt, and although sad to have to carry it with me, its a positive reminder of where I came from, and where I don’t want to go again.