I fear… the inevitable
The ups the downs the all arounds
I fear what will happen next
I fear the rope that ties itself
Tightly ’round my neck
But this is not inevitable
This will not happen
I have changed
I am changing with each day
And I no longer see death as an exit
I no longer see my life as a play
That I can just quit
I am scared of being better
But that’s why I am scared, todayTaylor
First part is a little extract from a poem I wrote, and second part is how that no longer is me, I no longer believe that I will be in pain forever, I no longer see life as a burden, or myself as a burden. But being better is scary, its scary to think that one day everything you’ve worked for could all fade away.
I’m falling down the rabbit-hole
with no clue of what I’ll find.
See magic has its different ways,
and who knows which is mine?
It could be dark and full of terror,
howling all through the night.
Or it could be lovely, nice and sweet,
where everything is bright…
But then again, it could be both,
with no certainty at all.
Or it could just be emptiness,
where all I do is fall.Taylor
The rabbit-hole is an idea I find in a lot of my poetry, its a metaphor for mental-health, depression, loosing yourself. In this poem, its a question about where my journey is going, will it be like my nightmares, or my wishes… or will it always go up and down, good and bad…. or will it never go anywhere, will I be in this constant feeling of trying to find myself.