Healing

My nails are growing again

Im not happy yet

But Ive lost the habit of tearing myself apart because of it

My body is healing

It wont be the same

But Ive started to love the history it has and holds

Im growing, slowly, up towards the sun

Lets hope a drought is not going to come

Because for now

Look at me

Taylor

wind

I reach out but when I open my hands are empty

All I can do is watch

and cry

as I feel it leave me

It almost looks like a bubble

or a fairy

and I felt it leave my fingertips

getting pushed by a wind

that isn’t there

An unseen, unheard, unfelt wind

It drifts further and further

and all I can do is watch

and wait

for it to come back

Taylor

With every positive mindset I know it will be temporary, and when it leaves, it is as if I see it, its a moment of realization where I witness it float away from me and there is nothing i can do about it

Fear

I fear… the inevitable

The ups the downs the all arounds

I fear what will happen next

I fear the rope that ties itself

Tightly ’round my neck

But this is not inevitable

This will not happen

I have changed

I am changing with each day

And I no longer see death as an exit

I no longer see my life as a play

That I can just quit

I am scared of being better

But that’s why I am scared, today

Taylor

First part is a little extract from a poem I wrote, and second part is how that no longer is me, I no longer believe that I will be in pain forever, I no longer see life as a burden, or myself as a burden. But being better is scary, its scary to think that one day everything you’ve worked for could all fade away.