Lifeless

I wasn’t ready for you
Like a bird that can’t yet fly
How could I teach you to
Lifeless
Drained of all my strength
Drained of life
Lifeless
Is how I was left
But I’m back
And I’m teaching myself how to fly
So one day you will too
And I’ll be soaring through the skies
Before I ever get to meet you
Because I need to go through the worst
To teach you to navigate a storm
And feel the best
So that you can always feel my warmth
But today was not the time
As I have yet to build a nest
But one day I hope I will feel your life against my chest
Taylor Hopewell

Burnt and drowning

Sunkisses can turn to burns
Water glissens can cause concerns
because too much and your drowning
wet and hot and burnt
But isnt pain and pleasure to die for
so many lessons to learn
Taylor

Not to love

What is it like not to love
Or at least not yet?
I would tell you but there isnt much to it
Loss and grief are easy
Comitment is hard
I still feel warm around the right people
But if I lost them I would only have to adjust my routine
Taylor

Healing

My nails are growing again
Im not happy yet
But Ive lost the habit of tearing myself apart because of it
My body is healing
It wont be the same
But Ive started to love the history it has and holds
Im growing, slowly, up towards the sun
Lets hope a drought is not going to come
Because for now
Look at me
Taylor

wind

I reach out but when I open my hands are empty
All I can do is watch
and cry
as I feel it leave me
It almost looks like a bubble
or a fairy
and I felt it leave my fingertips
getting pushed by a wind
that isn’t there
An unseen, unheard, unfelt wind
It drifts further and further
and all I can do is watch
and wait
for it to come back
Taylor

With every positive mindset I know it will be temporary, and when it leaves, it is as if I see it, its a moment of realization where I witness it float away from me and there is nothing i can do about it

her body

Her body untouched,
but not anymore
The eyes of men who saw
sawed into her body
with their glare
By hands who got lost
got lost in the curves
from her neck to her thighs
sighs of desperation,
asking herself how to get out
of that situation
Taylor

Fear

I fear… the inevitable
The ups the downs the all arounds
I fear what will happen next
I fear the rope that ties itself
Tightly ’round my neck
But this is not inevitable
This will not happen
I have changed
I am changing with each day
And I no longer see death as an exit
I no longer see my life as a play
That I can just quit
I am scared of being better
But that’s why I am scared, today
Taylor

First part is a little extract from a poem I wrote, and second part is how that no longer is me, I no longer believe that I will be in pain forever, I no longer see life as a burden, or myself as a burden. But being better is scary, its scary to think that one day everything you’ve worked for could all fade away.