dried up paint

Scraping dried up paint from under my fingernails
With a 2H
Writing shit with too many details
Its getting late

Lying down by my book
Kept company by my pencils
And my phone
But its only decoration right now

I love it when an addiction is just decor
I could be using it but I wouldn’t know what for
To pick you up
To start to scroll
But I don’t
To want to drink
A glass of wine
But I wont

To smoke a cigarette, to think about you...
But I do

I love it when I write
Because nothing really means anything
Apart from one word at a time
And everyone thinks it does
That theres a theme or a deeper meaning
That I thought about before I finished it
I didn’t
There isn’t
Its just me talking in my head
If my brain could talk
Its just the shit it woulda said
I find meaning in my writing
But I don’t write with meaning
I write with a pencil
And dried up paint


Fingertips on skin

Like faulty wires

Electric sparks

But beware for flammable items

For they can clearly catch alight

But sometimes they dont look flammable

And we mistake objectifying for dirty talk

Mistaking possessiveness for lust

And controlling for in love

Like a pool of gasoline

The wire is engulfed in flames

Not possible to escape with out burns

Burns on your heart

So the next connection you make

You may be the one to break

But I hope you atleast learnt to keep yourself safe

And keep the flammables away


A poem about toxic relationships, how the magic that love, caring, and sex has is wonderful but with bad people (flammable people) it becomes overwhelming and toxic.


I don’t want love

I just want to feel and see sparks

Like a faulty cable

Sparks flying between out lips and teeth

And intertwined tongues

I know I’ll end up getting electrocuted or burnt

But for now I will enjoy the fireworks

And the bonfire will come later

I want to have my heart forget its rhythm

Legs not know how to walk without wobbling

Stomach bubbling and fluttering

I will enjoy the blood rushing to my cheeks

I don’t give a fuck about the consequences

Light the firework

Plug in the cord

Let the sky be lit up

In lust

Not love


The crashing wall

Lies are heavy, they get to a point where they will bring things crashing down.

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I didn’t ever breakdown in front of you

I didn’t show you my scars

I didn’t give you any hint of my state

But I still expected you to be there and understand

And I’m sorry for pushing you away by saying I was fine

I built a beautiful wall, but I decorated it out of lies

And you built your wall, and we called it our home

But as I said, lies are heavy

And there were so many decorations my wall could take before it fell

And it did

And you were not expecting it

Because what you thought were new pieces of art

Were just scribbled drawings to place over the scars

And I didn’t change the paint because I wanted to

I did it to cover up the cracks

But I slowly gave up

I was tired of covering my tracks

The scratched down the walls aways came back

And the paint started to peel

Showing the bricks underneath

rotting and dark

You weren’t prepared for the destruction

Of a years worth building and decorating this home

But I never built my wall

I only built the one I though you wanted to own

And I was tired of spending my effort and time fixing what was mine

I was tired of a house built out of lies

So I broke it down

And I’m sorry for the rubble and I’m sorry for the pain

But is it a home… if it drives you insane?


A relationship can become a second home as you grow around eachother, but sometimes they don’t workout, for whatever reason. And there were always little doubts that people pushed away, and they build up and up until it becomes a facade. And you must come to terms with the truth, that love comes and love goes, and it teaches you so much but don’t force it and try to make it last forever.

the spring

I wanted you near,

so I pushed you away.

I’m sorry for making you fear

our love fading away.

But I’m just trying to get you to spring back to me,

come closer than we’ve ever been…


I always say that with me, I distance myself at times because I believe we are connected almost like a spring, and you have to lose something to know how much you need it. So I distance myself, and then watch as once you let go of the spring it pulls and contracts even more, and we will be closer for a certain amount of time.