I tell myself not to write
Because I five too deep
But then, I fall
Into a world to easy to keep
Of tinder dates that fall in love or to never been seen again
Of short 6 second videos that teach me nothing or bring up pain
I tell myself not the start writing because I’ll be depressed again.
But how bad can life be
Sat here listening to quiet tv
And chatter
In one room and quiet resource
Evelyn Stein in this room
Quiet
With the sound of rain falling into the deck
And the song has now changed
to the Hymn of the sea by James Korner
And now I feel like although I don’t believe in god,
maybe a Spotify one exists.
He knows who I am better than you do
She knows what I need more that you do
They know more about me than you could ever do.
Because I am nothing but my habits,
I am nothing but my thoughts and my soul,
I am nothing but todays playlist,
I am nothing but todays goal.
Tag: happy
dried up paint
Scraping dried up paint from under my fingernails
With a 2H
Writing shit with too many details
Its getting late
Lying down by my book
Kept company by my pencils
And my phone
But its only decoration right now
I love it when an addiction is just decor
I could be using it but I wouldn’t know what for
To pick you up
To start to scroll
But I don’t
To want to drink
A glass of wine
But I wont
To smoke a cigarette, to think about you...
But I do
I love it when I write
Because nothing really means anything
Apart from one word at a time
And everyone thinks it does
That theres a theme or a deeper meaning
That I thought about before I finished it
I didn’t
There isn’t
Its just me talking in my head
If my brain could talk
Its just the shit it woulda said
I find meaning in my writing
But I don’t write with meaning
I write with a pencil
And dried up paint
Fall
I thought my feet were placed firmly
Never again would I fall
Would I trip over a smile
Or tumble over your eyes
But I do, every day now
And I can’t tell what’s more stupid
The fact that I fell, or that I’m still falling
Fingertips
Fingertips on skin
Like faulty wires
Electric sparks
But beware for flammable items
For they can clearly catch alight
But sometimes they dont look flammable
And we mistake objectifying for dirty talk
Mistaking possessiveness for lust
And controlling for in love
Like a pool of gasoline
The wire is engulfed in flames
Not possible to escape with out burns
Burns on your heart
So the next connection you make
You may be the one to break
But I hope you atleast learnt to keep yourself safe
And keep the flammables away
Taylor
A poem about toxic relationships, how the magic that love, caring, and sex has is wonderful but with bad people (flammable people) it becomes overwhelming and toxic.
memories
There are too many memories
I cannot remember
And I don’t understand how I can ever understand myself
If even I don’t know my own life
I’m supposed to put together this jigsaw
But I’m missing all of these pieces
How do you expect me to know my own mind?
I know where the gaps are
I just don’t know how to fill them
Taylor
sailor
Drowning in the sea
As I see how far you have gotten
I watch you sail into the sunset
You may come across another storm
But for now you are safe and warm
You may have a few scratches and leaks
But my god do you look beautiful
As you rock side to side
Stably over the waves
Stably
Taylor
Drowning in the sea is a metaphor for crying so much as I see a dear friend be in a better condition and place in their life. The strength they must have had amazes me, and moves me. Heres to you, and everyone else that overcomes their life difficulties. There will always be another storm, but you did well sailing through this one 🙂 xx
Living
Everyone is smiling, feeling great
There is hair filling up the small amounts of space
Bodies crashing into other bodies
Sweat transferring like fingerprints and falling like rain
And our voices, screams, shake the walls
This is what it feels like to live
and not just be alive.
But our bodies will feel heavy, but we will remember how they were light
Our ears will ring, but we will remember the music
Our heads will hurt, and we might not remember
all the faces
all the places
or everything we did
But we were there.
And we were living.
Taylor
My friend, Erin, told me to write about our night out, so I did. It really pushed me out of my comfort zone in terms of writing, as it tends to be quite dark or twisted, but I enjoy this poem and the memories it brings
One day
I’m no saint,
but for you I will fight,
because I wish to be the light
that guides you through the dark
Because my only wish is that you find your way
one day
Out of here , out of your mind, out of your fears
One day
One day I want you to feel free
As free as I do when I’m just being me
One day I want you to fly
Just like I can when I close my eyes
One day, it will happen
and that day, I’ll smile
Taylor
Showing this idea of putting other people before yourself, especially when you have gone through the same thing already. And it makes you feel better when you know you have helped someone, I feel although I myself have accomplished something just because I helped them.
A change
My legs are tired of walking
as my mind is from running
always running to and from
one set of ideas, one mentality, one me
But this is changing
ever so quickly and now
As I walk home from being out
I am not sad about not being there anymore
But I am happy that I was
Taylor
How to live
Smile, let the good moments sweep you away
If you want to cry, cry, but not for the whole day
Laugh like crazy, send the message to your brain
That right now… everything is okay
Because even if it isn’t it will be, I promise
Even if it feels like forever, it wont be, I promise
I promise to always try to make you giggle
And take your fears away
Because life is too short to waste it
Even just for one day
Taylor