Scared of myself

I’m scared of or for myself

Because I know confinement drowns me

And I can feel my lungs slowly filling

And I always rely on someones hand to pull me up

But we are in lockdown

The only hands are those of my family

And I have brought them under with me too many times

Nothing feels right

What am I supposed to do when I’m left alone with my mind?



There are too many memories

I cannot remember

And I don’t understand how I can ever understand myself

If even I don’t know my own life

I’m supposed to put together this jigsaw

But I’m missing all of these pieces

How do you expect me to know my own mind?

I know where the gaps are

I just don’t know how to fill them




Drifting reality

Space between us

Connections unfold

Now too long to hear your words

But our hearts are tied

We can’t hold hands but we stand side by side

With meters and miles between us

Holding on

Hoping for a reunion to come along

Distanced but awake

Scared but living each day

I have never felt this feeling before

Don’t want it, but for now it’ll stay