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My sobriety

Everything feels so much more romantic
When you have drunk tinted memories
The first words, dances, kisses
Mean nothing in my sobriety

I feel like I’ve lost memories
But maybe I just see them clearer

It’s nice to look through the fog
Through the raindrops
Pouring down the window
Adding excitement to an overclouded, gloomy day.

Everything’s feels easier
When your body moves itself
The first words,dances,kisses
Are so tiring in my sobriety

I feel like I’m not myself
But maybe I’m just admitting I never know her

I’m learning to be as fun as I used to be
As confident as I always was
To feel like myself when I have nothing to take me away
It’s hard being me, all the time

I miss the loss of control, of memories, of people
I miss fighting, and fucking till stupid hours in the morning
I miss falling into bed with someone I just met
Or someone that I know

But inhibitions are protecting me from something
My bodys telling itself not to open up just yet

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