I cant move out, it was a trap all along

Once you call it your home you never want to leave

You don’t want to pack up all your baggage

You won’t let yourself repaint all the walls

Trying to cover where you’ve picked and scratched it all off

I don’t want to leave this house because the windows keep me safe

They block out all the sunlight so I have the right lighting to write

The block out all the voices and the headaches

But they block them from the outside

Which is just what I need

And what I want

And what I’m used to now

So I wouldn’t have it any other way

I mean I can’t

But if i could I’d probably choose to keep it the same

Because you never want to move out of your home

I would never choose to be sane


The crashing wall

Lies are heavy, they get to a point where they will bring things crashing down.

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I didn’t ever breakdown in front of you

I didn’t show you my scars

I didn’t give you any hint of my state

But I still expected you to be there and understand

And I’m sorry for pushing you away by saying I was fine

I built a beautiful wall, but I decorated it out of lies

And you built your wall, and we called it our home

But as I said, lies are heavy

And there were so many decorations my wall could take before it fell

And it did

And you were not expecting it

Because what you thought were new pieces of art

Were just scribbled drawings to place over the scars

And I didn’t change the paint because I wanted to

I did it to cover up the cracks

But I slowly gave up

I was tired of covering my tracks

The scratched down the walls aways came back

And the paint started to peel

Showing the bricks underneath

rotting and dark

You weren’t prepared for the destruction

Of a years worth building and decorating this home

But I never built my wall

I only built the one I though you wanted to own

And I was tired of spending my effort and time fixing what was mine

I was tired of a house built out of lies

So I broke it down

And I’m sorry for the rubble and I’m sorry for the pain

But is it a home… if it drives you insane?


A relationship can become a second home as you grow around eachother, but sometimes they don’t workout, for whatever reason. And there were always little doubts that people pushed away, and they build up and up until it becomes a facade. And you must come to terms with the truth, that love comes and love goes, and it teaches you so much but don’t force it and try to make it last forever.