I will be good

I’ll be good,

one day.

I won’t need to call you in tears

crying about all the wasted years

and how they were all for nothing.

I won’t need to stack up the pills,

or make sure there’s always something,

pointy or sharp.

I’ll be good,

good enough

to be able to laugh and not shake,

to be wondering about the future

not IF I have one.

I will be good.

I hope.

Taylor

Fear

I fear… the inevitable

The ups the downs the all arounds

I fear what will happen next

I fear the rope that ties itself

Tightly ’round my neck

But this is not inevitable

This will not happen

I have changed

I am changing with each day

And I no longer see death as an exit

I no longer see my life as a play

That I can just quit

I am scared of being better

But that’s why I am scared, today

Taylor

First part is a little extract from a poem I wrote, and second part is how that no longer is me, I no longer believe that I will be in pain forever, I no longer see life as a burden, or myself as a burden. But being better is scary, its scary to think that one day everything you’ve worked for could all fade away.