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I wonder what she would taste like without the alcohol
It’s those steps I haven’t taken yet that barricade the entrance
What if I find everything less exciting
People less enticing
Sex more trying

I wonder how I would lean in, if it wasn’t the sway that started me
I wonder how i would act when I’m sick of acting

I’m finding it quite exciting this…
Being almost constantly in the same headspace means i can only blame myself for my behaviours I deem unfit, or unfunny, or unrelaxed.
I am blaming myself a lot, i am regretting a lot, I’m regretting everything.

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